Two Tails and a Baby

Go West!

2010-06-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go! Nothing new to report on our adoption. We are currently exploring other options, but we haven't committed to any direction yet. While we have been waiting we have put our time to good use. The last week of May we loaded up the car and grab my 10 year old niece and headed west...well actually north and west. We took a ten day vacation up through South Dakota where we went through the Badlands, Mt. Rushmore, Custer State Park, Minuteman Missile NP and then we continued west to Yellowstone. It was an extraordinary trip. We also stopped off at Devils Tower, the Corn Palace and Sioux Falls Park. I could babble all day about the trip, but I will just let some pictures tell the story! Jeff is already planning our return trip when we get our own kids, hopefully that happens soon because I am ready to go back!

Grizzly Bear and cub at Yellowstone NP

Jeff and Tori hiking in the Badlands
Jeff and Tori at Norris in Yellowstone, Tori was catching snowflakes. Snow in May is a novelty for us Missourians!

Tori and Me at Mt. Rushmore

Still hanging on

2010-05-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is the middle of May and no word on the adoption. Jeff has asked me if maybe we are just supposed to be dog parents...and after all things considered I have to wonder. I realize that anyone reading this is looking to hear about our adoption journey and not everything we do to fill our waiting period, but it seems so sad to just let the blog sit here and go un-updated month after month! So...

In April we took a camping trip to Southeast Missouri and visited Elephant Rock SP, Ft. Davidson SH, and Johnson's Shut-ins. It was a really great trip. It was really amazing to see in person the devastation that occurred when the Taum Sauk Reservoir broke and flooded Johnson's Shut-Ins SP. It happened about 4-5 years ago and they are still working to restore the area.

Jeff standing in front of a boulder that was carried over a mile by the water that rushed out of the Reservoir breach.

Me about midway up the scour channel beneath the repaired reservoir.

Now we are preparing to take a trip west to visit Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore and anyplace else along the way. My niece is going with us as we plan to use her as bear bait ;O)! We should have a great time and hopefully some really awesome pictures and maybe when we get back we will know what our next step or direction or plan is for building our family.

Where does the time go!

2010-02-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

Well, as is apparent by our lack of blogging nothing is happening on the adoption front. I knew it had been awhile since I had last posted, but I didn't know it had been that long. We still have an empty room and many days fighting off the despair is difficult. We question our path, our motives, ourselves... I have been doing a study on the book of Esther and of course the most famous passage from it is, "Who knows, maybe for such a time as this you have been placed upon this earth." It serves to remind that I do not control the time God does. However, my argument to Him is that He is eternal and to him an hour is like a day and a day is like an hour. Being human a day is just that, a day and they keep passing by unmarked. The author of the study also pointed out though, "God never takes His eyes off us or off the wrist watch" and the same eye that is on the sparrow is also on the wrist watch. But is it His or mine! I can just imagine God's wrist watch and the many hands and faces it must have! Well, we still hold on to our hope (some days better than others). Until such a time!

Long Overdue

2009-10-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

This update is long over due, but my life seems to have hit fast forward for awhile. As of October 8, 2009 Jeff and I are approved and are now among others just like us hoping that we will be picked by a birth mother and entrusted with her most valuable possession. Now what... well... we wait. I don't think it seems fair that such big news to us should end with such a disappointing sounding action, but there you have it.
It is an interesting story. For months our paperwork was with the agency and then finally we heard from them with corrections. During this time we felt moved to join some other prayer partners to pray that God would remove whatever obstacle was blocking the process. Well, we made the corrections sent them off and began waiting. And we waited AND waited. Finally, we decided to call and see what was going on. When we called and asked for the lady that we had been working with we find out that she no longer works there...can you say deja vu? Okay, don't panic... So Jeff left a voice mail and we waited to hear back. The next day we called (we learned from past experiences that the squeaky wheel gets the oil) and got the same voice mail. Finally, we tried on the third day and they returned our call. The new lady said that she had our paperwork and noticed that it had been there awhile and that they would get on it the following week (this is Wednesday afternoon) Thursday we are notified that our application has been approved! We felt that our prayers for the obstacle were answered quite completely. So now to praying we get picked! Maybe we could actually have a Christmas baby, okay that might be stretching it, but anything is possible now. We are closer than we have ever been to finding Baby G!

Baby steps

2009-09-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been over a month since my last post and there has been a lot going on that has kept us busy. We received some of our paperwork back from our agency, some minor corrections, but it turned into a big fuss over two little words! It all boiled down to the petition to adopt, when it would be filed in our state and when our insurance would cover the child. It was such a mess. Jeff had to have his employer send four different employment letters defining when coverage would take place. We did finally get it defined in an acceptable way, but boy was it time consuming! We finally got all the corrected paperwork sent back in and are hoping and praying for a quick approval of our application so we can get in the system. Three years is a long time to be pregnant, even if it is only on paper! So that is the update and while it is only a baby step forward, it is still a step forward and not backward!

Sonshine, children's camp and still waiting!

2009-07-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

So here it is nearing the end of July and nothing new to post as far as the adoption, but don't think I haven't been busy! Starting at the end of June I spent a week as a counselor at my parents' church associational camp. My niece is diabetic and is not yet at a point that she can manage it completely independently so without someone there she wouldn't be able to go, so I went. It was a fantastic week. At the start I was a little dispirited because I ended up not having my own cabin of girls as I had been expecting, but then I read Gal. 4:27 "Be glad or barren woman, who bears no children; break forth and cry aloud, you who have no labor pains; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband." Yes, I have a husband! LOL. Yes, I know that Paul is speaking allegorically. But it spoke to me at that moment and I realized that each and everyone of those children at camp are mine to cherish and love on for the week that we are together. So that is what I did. Seeing those kids smile and light up knowing that many of their homes were far from perfect was deeply satisfying. I didn't have to preach to them about God or Jesus or try to convince them to become saved, I just loved them as Christ loves them.

My niece, Tori, playing Truth or Dare with her cabin mates. Razzberries up the arm!

Bus ride to the pool, we sang the entire way there and back! I was leading of course!

So, then after an fun and exhausting week at camp, I spent the Fourth of July at my parents house celebrating my sister's birthday. Jeff and I went home the following Monday and spent a week at home. Then we headed back to my parents on Sunday and Jeff and my dad layed ceramic tile in their bathroom. On Tuesday evening I hopped a train and headed to my brothers home(less) --he actually moved out of his apartment in Warrensburg, but had to stick around for a few days afterward-- and the next morning He, five teenagers from his youth group and myself, loaded ourselves into a 15 passenger van and drove 11 hours to Minnesota and the Sonshine festival. There we spent four cold, but none-the-less awesome days camping and rocking out to Christian bands, such as Skillet, Toby Mac, Hawk Nelson, Matthew West, Barlow Girl and that is just a few! We experienced three very different kids of preachers and locker room showers with strangers and many other strange and new adventures.

The youth group with a wandering preacher man, Bart, front and center.

Less than half of the tents that make up what is referred to as Tent City at Sonshine Festival.

HAD to stop in Auburn, Iowa and get a picture with the "World's Largest Bull", Albert! My brother, Jon and I holding up the bull.

During the Hawk Nelson Concert, Toby Mac's band--Diversity and David Crowder were standing off in the wings watching and Hawk Nelson called them out on stage. I only got a video of part of it with David Crowder, but I don't think David Crowder quite knew what was going on!

So now I am home and not real sure what to do with my time, but I am sure something will come along, it usually does. Until then I will just keep on waiting and watching.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

Memorial Day and Other Nonsense Ramblings

2009-05-26T15:18:00.001-07:00

For the first time since Jeff and I relocated we actually celebrated a holiday with our friends. Normally we would either visit my parents or if he had to work, we stayed home and it wasn’t much different from any other day. But this year we celebrated! We spent an enjoyable afternoon visiting and eating and going from sitting outside to sitting inside while it rained then back to sitting outside. I can’t really complain except that the homemade ice cream didn’t set up so that was a bust.

One of the families that are our friends have an 18 month old daughter and are expecting their second anytime. Their oldest, Adi, is just as cute as a button and it is always a joy to see her, but there is always a hint of sadness mixed in as probably many PAPs can understand. She played in Baby G’s room today and I actually had to go in and straighten it up after they left, not that they left a mess, just restoring it to its normal state. It felt nice to see that the room had been played in and enjoyed by a child, it made the room feel less empty and desolate. I walked with Adi down our hallway, which is almost as long as a bowling lane and the quick little pad pad pad of her bare feet on the wood floor is a sound I hadn’t really realized had been missing. Well, some days are harder and some are easier. We are just waiting to hear something and that is okay, but if someone had said three years ago that we would still be waiting for our first Baby G, I would have thought they were crazy and told them so. The Gobble Family has a poem posted on their blog called “Wait” and while I won’t post it here, if you are waiting as we are I highly recommend reading it.

Sometimes, I think to myself, why is this taking so long and I am ready now, don’t delay! But other times I find myself thinking am I ready? Are we ready? maybe it is okay that we have all this time and we should be taking more advantage of it. While still at other times I think, what if we just stayed the two of us?

I ran across an ad the other day on craigslist that was looking for women to donate their eggs and so I clicked on the link to see and it was going to pay $5000 for each harvest, and I thought WOW! that is even better than donating plasma! LOL! Only the max age was 30 years. I am going to be 32 this September, I guess my eggs are too old! I never really thought I was that old, but I guess it isn’t too far off, according to a nurse friend of mine you are a high risk pregnancy if you are 35 or older, hmmmm, that oughta make any momma to be feel good!

I am really just typing these thoughts as they come into my head with no rhyme or reason.

My mom came to visit this weekend and we went shopping at some baby stores. Didn’t buy anything for our Baby G, we actually bought a baby gift for my brother to give to his friend and wife. They are the proud new parents of a bouncing baby boy. It was fun to wander around and look. Two of the stores we visited were boutiques, but the third was Baby’s R Us, which is an exciting thing here because they finally put one in with the Toys R Us. It isn’t quite as impressive as the one up in Chesterfield Valley that I have been to, but it is way better than not having one at all! Not to mention that now we can get stuff bought online shipped to the store. Well, I guess I am going to quit rambling for now! Happy Memorial Day, may we never forget why we are free!

Poison Invasion

2009-05-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

The mother vine! Jeff couldn't believe it had its own branches!

The "original" vine from the beginning of the world!

Another shot of the mother vine.

Well, I don't really have anything new to report on the adoption front, but I thought that it was time for an update on other things! Our camping trip that I wrote of in my last post was literally a washout so nothing to tell there. The most spectacular thing going on right now is our battle to stop the invasion of the killer poison ivy. It has earned that name because I HATE it. I had ran into a patch of it last year while I was picking gooseberries which grow wild and abundantly in the woods surrounding our house. I was so immersed in picking that I don't even know where it was that I got it. Now, that I know that we have some on our property I am a little more wary and try to keep my eye out for it. Well, as it turns out it is nearing gooseberry time again and I have been keeping a close eye on some of my closer plants so I know when I should start picking them. Being that they are in the woods and the woods have ticks (another evil of nature!) I decided that I would cut some paths near some of the plants that are on the edge of the woods so I could keep a close eye on them without having to spray with deep woods off everytime. So I begin to mow and as I am mowing an area I look around and notice pretty green leaves of three. At first I thought oh they are just some other kind of brush plant, but then I realized they were getting bigger and looked nothing like the plant I thought they were. I ran in the house and got on the internet, to double check my suspicions and correct I was! Not only was there a little poison ivy, but it was rapidly taking over, then I noticed a vine that I had never really looked at climbing a tree in our yard and realized it was the mother of all poison ivy. Thankfully, I have not gotten the oils on my skin, but I did take some precautionary measures and ran in the house and washed any exposed skin off with my Bert's Bees Poison Ivy soap, I wasn't taking any chances! We have since bought Roundup poison ivy killer and Jeff went on the offensive, killing (hopefully) the ivy we had found, unfortunately as we became further enmeshed in our offensive we found more and more! If I had found the mother of all poison ivy vines, today we discovered the original poison ivy vine that God put here during creation! Jeff didn't even think that it was poison ivy at first, stating, "it has no branches, I don't think it is poison ivy." The problem was he didn't look high enough up the tree! Normally I would just let nature be, but with a dog that runs in the woods indiscriminately and I being allergic to it, poison ivy MUST go!

Anchor's Away!

2009-04-20T14:35:00.000-07:00

Well, our paperwork is officially gone. As of today we are waiting! I am excited and apprehensive and to be quite frank I don't know what to do with myself now that I have all this free time!! Hopefully we won't have much to post in the way of the adoption until we get picked, but that is not to say I won't entertain my fellow bloggers and readers with our adventures while we wait. We have a lot of plans for the coming weeks/months. In a couple of weeks we are going to go camping. We haven't settled on a place yet, but we do have it narrowed down to two places which are the Buffalo River OR Taum Sauk either one offers great hiking. We are also planning on installing a fireplace in our living room, we still have a little while for that, but it will probably be rather tumultuous when we do it. Couple that with helping plan my mother and father-in-law's 50th anniversary party, create a scrapbook for them as a gift, mother's day, my brother's b-day and graduation (MA) and anything else that crops up I should have plenty to write about!! Here's to hoping the time goes by quickly and we hear something soon!

Going in Baby G's Room

2009-03-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

Well, it hasn't been quite as long as I thought since my last post! That being said we have been pretty busy. I took some time away from the blog world for a awhile because I didn't know what else to write and I couldn't bear to read others blogs. I have also been swamped with paper chasing and a much needed vacation. We are officially nearing the end of our paper chase now just a few more pieces and we can say that we are back to waiting. We are going domestic, in case I didn't mention that before. We are going with Mercy Ministries, which is actually a home for young ladies that are struggle to get out difficult situations. They have an adoption agency to assist in placing babies that are born to mothers in their programs that choose to adopt them out. We don't know how long the wait will be because it depends on the birth mother picking us, but we are hopeful. That being said we went into baby G's room for something other than cleaning. We had quit going in it as the wait became longer and longer with our Kaz adoption and totally avoided it when that adoption collapsed. But, I have been so full of hope and renewed excitement that I had to go in there and start dreaming again. We are not so eager that we are ready to run out an buy things or even really look at baby things, that will wait until we have been picked and maybe even until it is finalized, but for now there are some finishing touches that need to be made to the room BEFORE we bring a baby home and we are ready to tackle those.

On another note, since we weren't travelling to Kaz we decided to take a much needed vacation. So at the end of February we went on a short 3-night cruise to the Bahamas. It was so relaxing and gave Jeff and I a chance to get away and reconnect after the tumultuous weeks prior. The weather was beautiful and we got good and sunburnt, something that doesn't happen to us Missourians in February!

Me snorkeling, the weather was beautiful and so was the reef and the fish, but boy was the water cold!

Jeff and I after Snorkeling in Nassau, Bahamas.

Jeff walking on the Beach at Coco Cay Island, the cruiseline's private island.

Jeff and I on the deck of the ship as we departed Port of Miami.

The End of One Journey and a New Beginning

2009-02-14T07:05:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been almost two months since I last blogged, but now it is time to give an update. About four weeks ago I sent our agency a letter asking about our paperwork and information I had received about another of their PAPs paperwork not being where it was supposed to be and there being no record of it ever having gotten there in the first place. I just wanted to know what was going on and why our paperwork has not moved. They sent me a response that denied knowing about this other PAP and told me in a round about way that I should pay attention to their weekly updates, which I read religiously. Then they went on to give me hope that it was possible that our paperwork was much further along than we suspected and it was possible that we could just get a call to travel one day and never know when we reached the MOE or had a region assignment. Two working days later we received a cryptic email simply stating that they had information regarding our paperwork and we needed to set up a time to speak on the phone about our dossier. TWO DAYS!! Right after you give us this hope... Well we finally connected with them to learn something so shocking I was at a loss for words. Our paperwork NEVER made it to the MFA where we were told it was. WHAT! You mean for the last 8 months when we thought it was at the MFA and they kept reassuring us it was there and leaning on the slow down in Kaz as the reason, that it had never left the Consulate! Deja Vu, this sounds a lot like the other PAP that I had heard about and they deny knowing about....

Well, that is our story, but it is not the end. After we got off the phone with our agency we decided on our new course of action. We couldn't go back to Kaz right now, it was just too painful and the emotions were still raw. We had, at one time, considered getting on a list for a domestic adoption, but were dissuaded from doing so. Now, well, now we felt free to pursue this option. So, we set the wheels in motion for that course. My heart hurts for that child we would have met in Kaz and I still see the face of a brown haired brown eyed child, just beautiful, but not to be. We feel misused, misguided and basically lied to. Thankfully, our trust is in the Lord and not in the agency WE chose to work His miracle. Everything doesn't happen for a reason, we as humans still have free will and even the best plans go astray, but God works for the good of those that trust in Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Post Christmas and the New Year

2008-12-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so if I was a good blogger I would have added probably five posts in the time between this post and the previous post, but I am not a good blogger. On the upside anyone reading to follow the adoption hasn't missed anything because there is nothing to report. Our paperwork is updated and everything is now in the unending holding pattern that we seem to be in. On an upbeat note, we bought a snowsuit for our Baby G in the hope that we get to travel before winter is up. We have been putting off buying one because we won't need it if we travel in the summer months. Here's hope.

Thanksgiving came and went without much to speak of. I fixed the turkey for Jeff's family's Thanksgiving. I have a family recipe that I use and my mother-in-law knew it. However, she misinterpreted it to be a GERMAN family recipe (I am a good deal German, my mother was a Juedemann and my father is a Wehmeyer) I had everyone asking me how I "made a German turkey, did I stuff it with saurkraut?" After clearing that up everyone seemed to really like the turkey, the white meat was so juicy. I would pass along the recipe, but then I would have to kill you!! LOL! After Thanksgiving everything switched into high gear and I was off to the races gearing up for Christmas.

Christmas...Was fun, nice, full. We did not spend our time sad over the fact that one more Christmas has gone by without our Baby G. Instead we looked forward to the hope that next year we would share our love, traditions and excitement with our little one. We went to our usual Christmas tree farm to get a tree and it was pretty slim pickings, but we decided that we would rather have a crooked bare tree (it wasn't Charlie Brown bare) and support our local tree farm to ensure that it will be there to share with our little one than to go find a perfect tree at a tree lot. So our tree leaned a little, but it had character! For Christmas every year I get an ornament for our tree for both Jeff and I that I think is representative of our year. This year's was a Hallmark ornament shaped like a tear drop with a clear star hanging in the middle and the town of Bethlehem nestled in the bottom, but it was the words that were on it and the box that really won me over. Inscribed on the ornament was the phrase, "Hope shines bright." On the box was written:

"The world was dark, a place of uncertainty, waiting for an unknown future. But in the extraordinary glow of the star over Bethlehem, heralding the arrival of the Light of the World, hope shines bright, as the future is forever changed."

Thank God for Christmas and the hope that it gives to this world through Jesus, but also for those that are one this journey of adoption along with us, thank God that hope shines bright and that someday we will have our own small Christmas miracle that will change our futures forever!

Happy New Year!

Updating and everything in between

2008-11-04T16:57:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are in November, I just can't believe the time flies by so fast. Our paperwork is still somewhere in the sea of Kazakhstan. I am beginning to think that someone spilled coffee on it and just threw it away, but then I read others blogs who were registered at the MFA around the same time and their paperwork hasn't moved either. I realize that right now I could blame my agency, but that wouldn't really be fair since the paperwork is out of their hands, I could get frustrated at the process, but what good would that do me, I entered this process knowing that no matter how stable a process may be, it is ever changing in the world of international adoption. Some days I don't want to read other blogs because I just don't think that I can bear to hear that they have a region assignment or that they are going to meet their child, but then I read them anyway and think someday that will be Jeff and I! Ours prayers are fervent as we pour out our longing to have our child in our home. There is a plan, THERE IS A PLAN! Things will come together and when they do we will have a better, deeper understanding of this journey that we are on and we will be better equipped to face challenges in the future. Things are bright and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, there are just a few curves to go through that are blocking the end.

"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:25-26

Running, fall and other some such topics

2008-10-13T15:18:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are in October! I really do enjoy this time of year. The leaves are starting to change and the temperatures are getting cooler and with these cooler temps comes CHILI!!! Yep this weekend is the official 3rd annual Gertson Ghoulish Chili Cook-off! We have been trying to get things ready and by that I mean finish laying ceramic tile in our master bath and closet. We are going to have a house full of people, as many as 30+ including kids and one bathroom, that will NEVER work, so Jeff, bless his heart, is working like a mad fiend to get it finished before Saturday so I can return the clothes to their rightful resting place instead of in a pile on the spare room bed and then I get to clean, clean, clean! I also am scheduled to work 4 days this week, which is good, BUT I would have loved the time to get things ready for Saturday. Oh Well!

Took our puppy for a run this evening and it was nice and invigorating. I run down a gravel road for a little while and really get to bask in the beauty of nature and the season. Just the other day there were still walnuts and leaves on the walnut trees, they are now bare as a newborn baby. It goes by so fast.

I have been doing a women's Bible study at my church for the last five weeks. It is called "Discerning the Voice of God" by Pricilla Shirer. It is a really great study for where I am at right now with our adoption. It has challenged me and encouraged me. She doesn't give a magic equation that guarantees success, that depends on the individual, but she gives guidance as to how to better tune in and test what you hear.

Our adoption is still in the same place it was before, hasn't budged. It is all good though because God is working and moving and all things will happen in His time and no sooner. In the mean time we have been busy updating paperwork for our dossier. I was terribly stressed about this until I took a look at the dates on our USCIS papers and realized that I had a lot more time than I was thinking I had, so now I can breath! YAY!

Words of Wisdom:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Encouragement for the trip

2008-09-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have been running across different scripture, some are new and some are old verses that I have marked and I thought that I would try to share one every so often with the hope that they might lift and encourage my fellow bloggers as they have encouraged Jeff and I on our journey.

The vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3

The JOY that comes after the trials

2008-09-07T15:45:00.000-07:00

No, this is not an announcement pertaining to the joy that comes after much trial and suffering, but rather a personal revelation. It is often times difficult to keep feelings of happiness and excitement and anticipation in adoption as month after month goes by with little movement or news. Just the other day I was experiencing one of those down days, you know the ones where you go to the room that you have designated the baby's room and feel all sad that it is just a room you are looking at and not a baby sleeping in that room, well, after much prayer and thought and more prayer I began to see my way through the fog and found my faith on the other side. This process is long, it is hard, it is painful and arduous, but is it worth it...yes! And I haven't even gotten to the end of my journey, whatever end that may be. It grows us all in some way. All these thoughts were summed up this morning by something I heard in church. "[Jesus] looked to the Joy after the cross; after the suffering." That was how he got through the horrible ordeal of the cross, by looking to the joy that came afterward. Now do I think that my adoption journey compares to the suffering on the cross... not even close, but it is suffering none-the-less. As Halloween approaches I am reminded of the plans we had for picking out pumpkins this year with our Baby G, that is not going to happen this year, but oh how much greater the joy it will be when we DO finally get to enjoy it with our little one in tow! Christmas will be so much sweeter and all the days in between that we get to share and learn and grow with Baby G. Do I wish that all this was happening now, this year... yes, but I am going to choose to look to the joy that comes after the trials and the waiting and waiting AND waiting. For now I will take up my cross daily knowing that joy comes in the morning!

What a ride

2008-08-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

So it's that time again, time for me to come up with something provocative to say, something full of meaning and significance, a profound announcement, but alas that is not the case. The most recent news was from the Committee of Child Rights Protection stating that dossiers that specified a gender would be returned. I felt sick for all the families that have come so far in the process only to have to start the wait over again if they chose to continue in their decision to adopt from Kaz. Not to say that a childisn't worth the wait, because he or she is, but the wait is the hardest part...Well, needless to say Jeff and I are not among these PAPs and do not have to make the difficult decisions they are. We determined early on that we didn't care if we were gifted with a boy our girl, we just wanted a child to share our home, hearts and lives with. So where does that put us, the same place we have been for the last four months, the MFA. Yep we haven't moved. We are gearing up for the fall and as we do we find ourselves thinking, "Last year we thought we would have our baby here to share this with." I love Halloween, it rates just above Christmas as far as I am concerned and last year aswe searched and found a local pumpkin patch we became excited about the prospect of sharing the experience with our child this year, not to be. Well the point of this entry wasn't to be sad. On a happier note, we have added a new furry family member. His name is Mooshoo and as soon as I get a pick I will add it to the blog. This was an unplanned adoption, someone dumped him by our house and he found his way into our yard. He is a little yellow tabby, though when he arrived he was a little worse for the wear. He had a ouchie on his nose (usually caused when they throw them from the vehicle in a hurry) and his front canine is missing (I don't know if it will come back or not) He has adjusted quite well with the rest of our motley crew and even our older cat, Chopstix, plays with him and doesn't his at him anymore. If this adoption doesn't go through soon we may have to open a zoo at this rate! Actually, no more pets we are at maximum capacity.

The other exciting thing is our chili cook-off. We have in in October of every year, actually this is just the third year for the cook-off, but for two

years prior we had a halloween party. Anyway, I have been working on a theme and decorating ideas for the house and of course what I will wear for a costume. It is always great fun and good food! This year I am going with a mad scientist lad and running the invitations like a want ad and old newspaper clippings, but the best part of all is the picture I photoshopped of Jeff...

Yes, I set his eyebrows on fire, no it is not supposed to look totally real, think more tabloid sensationalism! I laughed the whole time I did it. At any rate it will be fun.

With all the uncertainty in the IA world especially as we are experiencing it, I have had a lot of encouragement from some unlooked for sources, but I will just end with we started this race and we intend of finishing strong

Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry we do not lose heart...We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. II Corinthians 4:1, 8-9

What a FUN Video!!

2008-07-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

Anyway, My brother sent me this video and I thought it was great and well, doesn't really have anything to do with adoption , but it does show that no matter where you go in the world people are people and we aren't really all that different!! Enjoy! Do you think they would dance with me in Kazakhstan? LOL! It on the left side of the page!

Ramblings of a mad woman and other such nonesense

2008-07-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

So, I have just been wanting to post on our blog, but with no new news to share and nothing exciting happening I have been at odds with myself trying to think of what to write about. I have finally given into my urge to write and am dedicating this entry to my mad ramblings.

I have recently watched the movie "Nomad: the warrior". I won't say that it was my all time favorite film and that it is a must see for everyone, but for me it was poignant and enlightening. It enabled me to catch a glimpse at the beautiful country that our child is from and that glimpse only makes one that much more eager to immerse yourself into their culture and heritage. The movie really excelled in getting across how much pride the people have in their heritage and traditions. Their history is deep and is woven into the steppes that they call home.

On another note, my agency sent us a weekly update and with it was a link to a utube video of the Kazakhstan national anthem. It was beautiful and like the movie reverberated the pride of the people, their unceasing and unwavering commitment to the country and the land they call home as well as their way of life. Along with the link our agency also sent the english translation, but it didn't really do the anthem justice. It is so much stronger and proud and hauntingly beautiful in the language it is sung in. Unfortunately, I am not familiar enough with either the Kazakh language or the Russian language to differentiate between the two.

So now I come to the part of my entry that really starts to ramble...the adoption, our wait, and my ever increasing eagerness to take one more, even small, step forward. Everyday we wait for word that our paperwork has moved, wishing that it would and thinking of all the families before us that have been waiting that much longer. One day we will be one of those families. I also think about those families that are just a step or two behind us and wonder how they will weather this waiting game and what they will be thinking when they reach the stage that we are at. I know that everyday that passes is one less day that we have to wait and one day closer to Baby G. We still haven't made a decision whether we will both make two trips or if I will stay for the duration and only Jeff will make two trips. I so want to make just one trip, to have the time not only to spend with our little one, but also to immerse myself into the culture and the people. I love to experience the different cultures on a personal level rather than a tourist level. Here I go rambling on about traveling and as far as we know we haven't even made it to the MOE, much less gotten a region assignment or LOI. I am out of words or at least words that when put together create a coherent thought so I will sign off for now and continue waiting, knowing that everything has a season and will happen in God's perfect timing even the creation of our little family.

Make-overs and the Fourth of July

2008-07-09T06:45:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been another month since my last post and while adoption news has been slow with no new updates our lives have been pretty busy. We have spent the last several weeks now doing little upgrades in our home, like replacing light fixtures and landscaping the front yard. We have more to do and today begins our attempt to ceramic tile one of our bathroom floors. These things have all needed doing since we moved in, we have just kept coming up with excuses why we couldn't...Well, here goes nothing! On the fun side we celebrated Fourth of July with my parents. It has always been a big holiday in my family, one because any excuse to BBQ and make homemade ice cream and light explosives all in the same day is a good cause for celebration, but it is also my sister's birthday. For year's she thought that all the fireworks were for her. I have met other people with 4th birthday's and they thought the same thing. What a bunch of egotists!! LOL! We had a wonderful time. Saturday we tried to go out on my parents boat, but after much time spent working on it, we put it in the water and it would only go backwards! I suggested just motoring around the lake backwards, but nobody was too keen on that idea! My poor dad though he just works and works to keep the old boat going, but it is a 1977 Formula, that's as old as me and while I don't consider myself that old, that is REALLY old for a boat! We then spent Sunday by the pool and visiting. It was nice and peaceful. Hope to have some adoption news soon!

Paka!

And the Wait Goes On

2008-06-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

So anyone in the adoption world understands what it is like to wait. So here we are waiting. Our dossier has been at the MFA since the end of April and we think YEA! We are finally getting somewhere...and then we wait. We knew this going in and so with steely resolve we keep looking forward and counting each day that passes as being one less day we have to wait, but all the brave talk and resolve doesn't make this inevitable part of the process easier. Friends that were pregnant when we started the process are now sporting the seasons latest in accessories, one year olds or very near, even those that got pregnant after the we started the process are nearing their delivery dates. A friend of mine recently joked with us that they would feel really bad if they had their second one before we even got our first one! It was not insensitive of her, she helps keep things light and is very supportive. In fact, this week as I have read blogs about more delays here, longer waits there, I was really feeling down. My friend didn't know this, but when we went to their house the other evening she says, "I got you something" and pulls out this book, "A Treasury of Adoption Miracles". It touched me that she had picked it up for us, but what was even greater about it was how timely it was, just when I needed something to pick me up, to reassure me in our direction, her she hands me a book. On the back cover it says, "No matter what struggles you're going through, no matter how many highs and lows, the truth is, adoption is God's handiwork. It is a blessing, a calling, an absolute divine doing...Let God show you again the miracle of a child and the special miracle of adoption." This is a high calling and worthy of all the effort. As the old saying goes, nothing worth doing is ever easy. So here we are, waiting, wondering, hoping and always praying.

As we near the end of the month of June Jeff and I will celebrate 5 years of marriage together. It has been an adventure and yet doesn't seem like we have been married for that long (I know 5 years is a drop in the bucket for some!! One day it will be for us!). I can't think of a better anniversary gift than to hear that our paperwork has moved on to the next step, but I won't count on that just like I won't count on getting flowers from Jeff and if it happens it will be a very pleasant surprise! Until next time! Paka!

Kazakhstan our dossier has arrived!

2008-04-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

Well, we got some exciting news today, our dossier was registered at the MFA as of Monday, April 28th!! We still have some time left to go, but it sure is nice to know that our paperwork is in country! Just a few more steps to Baby G!

Not much else to report. They predicted a freeze for our area so I ran out and covered all of our plants and then we didn't even get frost, so my garden is safe for a few more days until ole mother nature decides to turn on us again!! Let's hope not! I spent the weekend with my family while they visited in Branson. We spent a lot of time down at the newly developed landing and then went over to get a look at Table Rock Dam and THIS time all ten flood gates were open! The lake level was REALLY high, but you could see that it had been higher! Well, enough ramblings, I really just wanted to share our exciting news!

Paka

Finally a little freetime!

2008-04-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

So this is a picture of Table Rock Lake Dam in Branson, Missouri about three weeks ago. At that time they had only five of the ten flood gates open, about a week later they had to open the remaining 5 flood gates. It was very impressive looking. We got some more rain this week and the Corp of Engineers was forced to open all ten flood gates once again and more rain is in the forecast. In the above picture I think they said that 19,000 cu.ft. of water per second was being released. When all ten were open they were releasing about 45,000 cu. ft./second. That is a lot of water!! That is my useless fact for the day. Nothing new on the adoption front to report. Things for us have been pretty busy, Jeff's dad was put in the hospital about two weeks ago with Leukemia. The prognosis seems optimistic with a good chance that he will go into remission, but we have spent a lot of time going back and forth to the hospital to help out his mom. In between all of the rain and our comings and goings we have managed to get our garden planted so the rain for us has been a good thing. Not much else to talk about right now! Paka!

Where is the SUNSHINE!!

2008-04-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

So the weather here has been less than acceptable. WE get teaser days that are nice and in the 70's and then we get rain for a week and it gets cold and dreary. A lot of places around us have flooded, but we haven't floated away and shouldn't anytime soon; although, I feel as though we should be building an ark! This weekend we are even supposed to get snow flurries!!! YUCK!

There isn't a whole lot going on any front. A week, to the day, the adoption suspension for Kazakhstan was lifted and things are supposed to be moving, but probably a little slower than before. We just continue on with preparations and life. I contacted our agency to see if our dossier had moved, but they had received no information that it had reached the MFA, which is the first place it has to go when it reaches Kazakhstan. With nothing more to say...Paka!

Spring has Sprung

2008-03-24T15:39:00.000-07:00

Well, It is officially spring!! I won't say that it is my favorite season, summer gets to claim that right, but longer, warmer days are definitely an improvement in my book. This past weekend was the Nauryz holiday in Kazakhstan. I love learning about the traditions of Kazakhstan and I store away each little piece of info that I collect so that in the years to come we can pass these traditions onto Baby G! Our way of welcoming in spring is a camping trip. We went a little earlier than the first day of spring, but we had a fantastic fews days. Our spring trips are always some of our favorites because the state parks (that is where we usually go) are pretty empty, there are really no bugs to speak of and you can REALLY enjoy the fire in the evening.This is me, Jeff and Inga, and my brother on a clifftop over looking the stream that runs out of Bennett Springs.

This is the four of us at our campsite. My brother is doing his best impression of the squirrel that ate our chocolate chip cookies! It was an evil squirrel!

We spent the last night listening to my brother play song requests as best he could on his harmonica. It felt like we should have been laying our heads down on saddles and listening to the wolves howl in the distance. It was very soothing and relaxing.

On the adoption front, Kazakhstan officials have temporarily suspended processing of adoptions that are at the consulate. Upon first hearing this I felt like I should be upset, but I really feel quite calm about it and figure it will happen when it is meant to happen and me getting anxious about it isn't going to help matters. Besides, I applaud the Kazakhstan government for wanting to review the inter-country adoption process. It highlights their care and concern for the children, which is what is most important. Last we knew our paperwork was still at the Consulate and that is a-okay we are here for the duration so we might as will enjoy the trip!

A Weekend of Productivity

2008-02-12T17:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I have had a very productive few days. This past weekend I went home to attend a JDRF family retreat diabetes conference in St. Louis. I have never been to New York, though I would like to, I have never been to LA or San Fran or even Chicago, unless you count flying in and then flying out on a connecting flight, but I have been to London and Edinburgh, Orlando, KC, and various other smaller cities and none of them get to me the way that St. Louis does! I love the arch, the zoo, the parks, the skyline, the old muddy Mississippi river, The Blues, Rams (minus Mike Martz!), and CARDINALS!! It just feels like home to me more than any other city I have been to. So I went to the JDRF conference with my sister and my niece, Tori. Tori was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when she was 4 and as with many diseases, it is always a learning, growing educating experience. We had a great time, while my sister and I learned how to manage her diabetes better when she is sick, Tori got to act like a carefree child, something that isn't always possible since everything in life isn't sugar free/carb free and every body isn't running around armed with the knowledge necessary to recognize high and low blood sugars! We had good food and being there made me realize how much more of an active role I should take in helping support JDRF and their efforts.
Another accomplishment that happened is that Jeff and I finally bought a different car. We have been hemming and Hawing for over a year about what car to buy, what is more economical yet still environmentally responsible and more fuel efficient. Well, after much debate we finally took the plunge and bought a Toyota Matrix, not as fuel efficient as a Prius or other hybrid, but more in our price range, not as big as a Rav 4 or CR-V, but more fuel efficient and more in our price range. It will fit the dog, baby G and hopefully our camping gear (which we will find out about soon enough as we gear up for our first camping expedition this March). It is white with a sunroof, YAY! and a 6-disc CD changer, never had one before, but it's nice to have options!
The most important news I saved for last. We got all of our paperwork that we received in our travel packet done and our visa pictures and all that stuff is ready to go in the mail tomorrow! Yay! We also received our email notification that our paperwork is officially at the Consulate, so that is good, at least it is somewhere and not just floating around in space! LOL! The biggest problem we have is telling people where our paperwork is now and what that means and how long. They start to get that glassey eyed stare when you start saying things like "then it goes to the MOE" or "then the MFA matches your to a child" and when you say that it could take as long as 12 months I really do think I know what it feels like to be a pregnant elephant! So yep we are still waiting and still have some waiting left to do, which I am grateful of as it gives us a chance to do the mountain of things we need to do BEFORE we travel, not limited to getting the money together for the adoption and learning some Russian!!!! AHHHHHHH! Well, that is what time is for and with that in mind maybe I should go practice my Russian! Paka!

Moving Forward

2008-01-23T09:54:00.001-08:00

I thought that I would start my entry off with a picture and a story about my neice, Tori. (She's the one in the pink hat, not the fuzzy one with the big ears!) Tori is 8 yrs old and the only grandchild on my side of the family. She has been immensely excited about getting a new cousin and has been enthusiastically helping Uncle Jeff collect cans to recycle to help with some of the costs. My mom, or grandma, jokingly complains all the time about how the back seat of her car is always full of cans and having to wait for Tori while she runs to pick up a can she has spotted. That being said, before Christmas for an assignment her teacher had everyone write a letter to Santa Claus to be published in the local paper. Tori's letter was as follows:
Dear Santa,
I hope you have a good Christmas. I wanted to ask you something. Can I have a panda bear that comes with a little one and a wreath and two boxes of cans so my Aunt Michelle and Uncle Jeff can adopt a baby that's all.
From,
Tori
We just thought that was the sweetest letter. We had my mom save the newspaper clipping with her letter so we can put it in Baby G's baby book so we can show him/her how much he/she was wanted!
On another note, we received our travel packet yesterday and I was SOOOOOO excited, until I started to read/ scan through it! All the information!!! It makes income tax forms look like a childrens book! So, I am going to attempt to break it down a little bit at a time and time is something I have! What we have read has made us start to rethink our original plans. We had originally thought that we would just do it all in one trip with Jeff leaving for the US after court and my mom coming over to help me with Baby G until we returned home, but they make it sound like it might be more complicated that way than just making the two trips. I had just figured I had the time that I could stay in country and 1.) It would give me some extra time to really get a feel for the Kazakh culture and 2.) I didn't want to have to leave our baby for a month because I didn't want to leave Baby G and two I thought it might make the transition process a little easier. I guess that is something that we will have to really think on even more now! Otherwise, we now have a more official list of what to bring, along with a list of suggested items from my yahoo group, and can REALLY start collecting things to bring with us on our trip(s). Time to get busy!

A Little Slick, but Still Have Power!

2007-12-12T07:41:00.000-08:00

So I have been feeling a little cooped up lately, so I thought that I would write a little. We had a small ice storm this past weekend, but nothing us veterans couldn't handle. Of course, we didn't even lose power which does make things a bit easier! Finally this weekend they are calling for some snow. We got sleds for Christmas about 3 years ago and have been able to only use them one time! I swear we had more opportunities before we got them! Well, on the adoption front we have to send our agency some more paperwork, mostly the new form that is now being required since it wasn't in with the rest of our paperwork! There's always something! With all the questions going on about our particular program/country I had this overwhelming sense of peace about our whole process the other day. I am confident that we were going the right direction. That doesn't mean that the journey will be easy or without heartbreak, it just means that it is the right one for use to be taking.

Just waiting and wondering

2007-12-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

So like I stated in my last entry our dossier paperwork is gone and now we are waiting. So far it hasn't been long so I am still pretty sane, well I am at least just as insane as I was when we started so that is a good thing! There have been a lot of different things happening with our program and when I think about those I get anxious and a little nervous and just want to go over to get our child just so I know that everything is okay! It breaks my heart to hear of families coming back home without their child, but some of these families have such a good faithful outlook that I am encouraged by them and the way they face their disappointment. I have been substitute teaching and it keeps me busy and reminds me almost daily the many things Jeff and I have to look forward to. For example, today I subbed for a first grade class and as luck would have it a front moved through our area and brought with it freezing rain and sleet, not quite as fun as snow, but the kids were so excited about it they could hardly stay in their seats! Okay, so maybe winter weather gets me a little excited too, but having a child to share that excitement with, OOOOHHHH WHAT FUN!! Although after the wonderful ice storm we had last year and going 14 days without power I will say the white fluffy kind of winter weather is much more to my liking! Well, I have rambled on long enough! And for some of the bloggers out there that were wondering about being too early to make Christmas cookies...NEVER, I managed to get two batches of some of mine done already! Have a good Christmas Season!

It's in the Mail!

2007-10-23T13:34:00.001-07:00

So finally after months of getting paperwork together and stressing about the best way to go about the paperwork, it's finally done and in the mail to our agency!! I am thrilled, Jeff is happy too, but not so much as me since I was in charge of the paperwork. Now we wait to see if we get the all clear and they move it on to St. Louis. We are praying! In the meantime we had a garage sale to help offset the cost of the adoption and with a lot of help from family and friends made a tidy sum to put towards the expenses. We are still working on other ideas and maybe now we can really focus our attention on that since we will be in a holding pattern until we hear from the government of Kazakhstan/our agency. What a great day!! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Looking Forward to Waiting

2007-09-06T06:35:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are in September. We made it through the scorching month of August without melting or bursting into flames. The adoption is coming along for those of you that are reading this blog for that very reason! We should have the final copy of our homestudy in hand by the end of this week or next week. I need to get all my dossier paperwork to my agency to look over before we get it appostilled, but as far as I know it is all ready to go. The only exception is pictures of the house. We were waiting until the grass was green again, well now it is green, but needs to be cut! Always something. I am kinda anxious to be in the waiting stage. WE are doing pretty good with our recycling endeavors and in a years time we might break $100, okay maybe more than that! As far as everything else, I have applied to substitute teach to help bring in money for the adoption AND I am planning on doing some reffing for volleyball. I should stay pretty busy! My friends and family have been so excited and I swear they are always giving us something new for the baby, which only just fuels our excitement and makes us want to hurry over to get our little one, but right now we wait. I guess I have rambled on long enough. I'll keep ya posted!

The Heat is On!

2007-08-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is August and things are now at a sweltering simmer, and that's just the temperature! We now have the all the pieces to the puzzle to get the home study completed and most of our paperwork seems to be in order for our dossier Aside from the Home study and the letters from our social worker the only piece of paper we are missing for our dossier is the Approve USCIS application. We've been checked and double checked by seemingly ALL police type agencies and fortunately we came out clean! We were REALLY worried (nah!). As we finish the dossier paperwork we will really go into a holding pattern and just be waiting for a referral and an invitation to go to Kazakhstan. In the meantime, Jeff and I have set about on an aggressive can collecting campaign (Look out cans, here we come!) Between that, collecting and recycling printer cartridges and old cell phones, and a couple other fundraising ventures we hope to fund our adoption. The good news is with ALL the recycling we are doing, Baby G will be the most eco-friendly baby in the family! Not much else to say, if anyone wants to give their pop cans, cell phones or printer cartridges to a good cause we will gladly take those off your hands! Until next time!

Home visits complete

2007-07-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our final home visit for our home study. It went very well and aside from some outstanding paperwork an approved home study seems eminent! This is very exciting and puts us not only one step closer to our child, but really makes it more certain that our adoption is going to happen and there is an air of excitment and anticipation permeating our home.

Let's Get This Started!

2007-07-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

So begins the tale of Baby G. Already our journey has been filled with raised hopes, disappointments, stumbling blocks, faith and sometimes lack there of.
Just as an update, on June 7, 2007 I began keeping a journal. AT that time we were in the beginning stages of our adoption process and boy is it still a step of faith and and opportunity to really see God work up-close and personal. We submitted our application and after a financial snag were approved to adopt from Kazakhstan. For those of you that don't know anything about Kazakhstan it is situated south of Russia, west of China and borders Uzebekistan on the southwest. It is a product of the fall of the communist Soviet Union in the early 90's. Although before communist rule it was its own independent country that played a role in the silk road.
Jeff and I have were very anxious to get the process going, but are trusting it COMPLETELY to God.
As of June 19 we sent our first (and probably smallest )payment off to our agency to get things underway. At that time we had received our homestudy packet and dossier booklet and the paperwork frenzy began! It has been a very daunting task, but we have tried to take it in small doses to get it done. We had originally set a goal of completing the homestudy before July 30, but we have accepted the fact that is not going to happen.
As of today we will be completing our final homestudy visit and are waiting on Jeff's employment verification letter. As soon as that is in our social worker can complete the homestudy and we will be able to press ahead!
Well, until next time, keep praying!