The JOY that comes after the trials

No, this is not an announcement pertaining to the joy that comes after much trial and suffering, but rather a personal revelation.  It is often times difficult to keep feelings of happiness and excitement and anticipation in adoption as month after month goes by with little movement or news.  Just the other day I was experiencing one of those down days, you know the ones where you go to the room that you have designated the baby's room and feel all sad that it is just a room you are looking at and not a baby sleeping in that room, well, after much prayer and thought and more prayer I began to see my way through the fog and found my faith on the other side.  This process is long, it is hard, it is painful and arduous, but is it worth it...yes!  And I haven't even gotten to the end of my journey, whatever end that may be.  It grows us all in some way.  All these thoughts were summed up this morning by something I heard in church.  "[Jesus] looked to the Joy after the cross; after the suffering."  That was how he got through the horrible ordeal of the cross, by looking to the joy that came afterward.  Now do I think that my adoption journey compares to the suffering on the cross... not even close, but it is suffering none-the-less.  As Halloween approaches I am reminded of the plans we had for picking out pumpkins this year with our Baby G, that is not going to happen this year, but oh how much greater the joy it will be when we DO finally get to enjoy it with our little one in tow! Christmas will be so much sweeter and all the days in between that we get to share and learn and grow with Baby G.  Do I wish that all this was happening now, this year... yes, but I am going to choose to look to the joy that comes after the trials and the waiting and waiting AND waiting.  For now I will take up my cross daily knowing that joy comes in the morning!