Post Christmas and the New Year

Okay, so if I was a good blogger I would have added probably five posts in the time between this post and the previous post, but I am not a good blogger.  On the upside anyone reading to follow the adoption hasn't missed anything because there is nothing to report.  Our paperwork is updated and everything is now in the unending holding pattern that we seem to be in.  On an upbeat note, we bought a snowsuit for our Baby G in the hope that we get to travel before winter is up.  We have been putting off buying one because we won't need it if we travel in the summer months.  Here's hope.  

Thanksgiving came and went without much to speak of.  I fixed the turkey for Jeff's family's Thanksgiving.  I have a family recipe that I use and my mother-in-law knew it.  However, she misinterpreted it to be a GERMAN family recipe (I am a good deal German, my mother was a Juedemann and my father is a Wehmeyer)  I had everyone asking me how I "made a German turkey, did I stuff it with saurkraut?"  After clearing that up everyone seemed to really like the turkey, the white meat was so juicy.  I would pass along the recipe, but then I would have to kill you!!  LOL!  After Thanksgiving everything switched into high gear and I was off to the races gearing up for Christmas.  

Christmas...Was fun, nice, full.  We did not spend our time sad over the fact that one more Christmas has gone by without our Baby G.  Instead we looked forward  to the hope that next year we would share our love, traditions and excitement with our little one.  We went to our usual Christmas tree farm to get a tree and it was pretty slim pickings, but we decided that we would rather have a crooked bare tree (it wasn't Charlie Brown bare) and support our local tree farm to ensure that it will be there to share with our little one than to go find a perfect tree at a tree lot.  So our tree leaned a little, but it had character!  For Christmas every year I get an ornament for our tree for both Jeff and I that I think is representative of our year.  This year's was a Hallmark ornament shaped like a tear drop with a clear star hanging in the middle and the town of Bethlehem nestled in the bottom, but it was the words that were on it and the box that really won me over.  Inscribed on the ornament was the phrase, "Hope shines bright."  On the box was written:

"The world was dark, a place of uncertainty, waiting for an unknown future.  But in the extraordinary glow of the star over Bethlehem, heralding the arrival of the Light of the World, hope shines bright, as the future is forever changed."

Thank God for Christmas and the hope that it gives to this world through Jesus, but also for those that are one this journey of adoption along with us, thank God that hope shines bright and that someday we will have our own small Christmas miracle that will change our futures forever! 

Happy New Year!

Updating and everything in between

Well, here we are in November, I just can't believe the time flies by so fast.  Our paperwork is still somewhere in the sea of Kazakhstan.  I am beginning to think that someone spilled coffee on it and just threw it away, but then I read others blogs who were registered at the MFA around the same time and their paperwork hasn't moved either.  I realize that right now I could blame my agency, but that wouldn't really be fair since the paperwork is out of their hands, I could get frustrated at the process, but what good would that do me, I entered this process knowing that no matter how stable a process may be, it is ever changing in the world of international adoption.  Some days I don't want to read other blogs because I just don't think that I can bear to hear that they have a region assignment or that they are going to meet their child, but then I read them anyway and think someday that will be Jeff and I!  Ours prayers are fervent as we pour out our longing to have our child in our home.  There is a plan, THERE IS A PLAN!  Things will come together and when they do we will have a better, deeper understanding of this journey that we are on and we will be better equipped to face challenges in the future.  Things are bright and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, there are just a few curves to go through that are blocking the end.

"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."  Lamentations 3:25-26

Running, fall and other some such topics

Well, here we are in October!  I really do enjoy this time of year.  The leaves are starting to change and the temperatures are getting cooler and with these cooler temps comes CHILI!!! Yep this weekend is the official 3rd annual Gertson Ghoulish Chili Cook-off!  We have been trying to get things ready and by that I mean finish laying ceramic tile in our master bath and closet.  We are going to have a house full of people, as many as 30+ including kids and one bathroom, that will NEVER work, so Jeff, bless his heart, is working like a mad fiend to get it finished before Saturday so I can return the clothes to their rightful resting place instead of in a pile on the spare room bed and then I get to clean, clean, clean!  I also am scheduled to work 4 days this week, which is good, BUT I would have loved the time to get things ready for Saturday.  Oh Well!  

Took our puppy for a run this evening and it was nice and invigorating.  I run down a gravel road for a little while and really get to bask in the beauty of nature and the season.  Just the other day there were still walnuts and leaves on the walnut trees, they are now bare as a newborn baby.  It goes by so fast.

I have been doing a women's Bible study at my church for the last five weeks.  It is called "Discerning the Voice of God" by Pricilla Shirer.  It is a really great study for where I am at right now with our adoption.  It has challenged me and encouraged me.  She doesn't give a magic equation that guarantees success, that depends on the individual, but she gives guidance as to how to better tune in and test what you hear.

Our adoption is still in the same place it was before, hasn't budged.  It is all good though because God is working and moving and all things will happen in His time and no sooner.  In the mean time we have been busy updating paperwork for our dossier.  I was terribly stressed about this until I took a look at the dates on our USCIS papers and realized that I had a lot more time than I was thinking I had, so now I can breath!  YAY!  

Words of Wisdom:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

Encouragement for the trip

I have been running across different scripture, some are new and some are old verses that I have marked and I thought that I would try to share one every so often with the hope that they might lift and encourage my fellow bloggers as they have encouraged Jeff and I on our journey.

The vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail.  Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay.  Habakkuk 2:3

The JOY that comes after the trials

No, this is not an announcement pertaining to the joy that comes after much trial and suffering, but rather a personal revelation.  It is often times difficult to keep feelings of happiness and excitement and anticipation in adoption as month after month goes by with little movement or news.  Just the other day I was experiencing one of those down days, you know the ones where you go to the room that you have designated the baby's room and feel all sad that it is just a room you are looking at and not a baby sleeping in that room, well, after much prayer and thought and more prayer I began to see my way through the fog and found my faith on the other side.  This process is long, it is hard, it is painful and arduous, but is it worth it...yes!  And I haven't even gotten to the end of my journey, whatever end that may be.  It grows us all in some way.  All these thoughts were summed up this morning by something I heard in church.  "[Jesus] looked to the Joy after the cross; after the suffering."  That was how he got through the horrible ordeal of the cross, by looking to the joy that came afterward.  Now do I think that my adoption journey compares to the suffering on the cross... not even close, but it is suffering none-the-less.  As Halloween approaches I am reminded of the plans we had for picking out pumpkins this year with our Baby G, that is not going to happen this year, but oh how much greater the joy it will be when we DO finally get to enjoy it with our little one in tow! Christmas will be so much sweeter and all the days in between that we get to share and learn and grow with Baby G.  Do I wish that all this was happening now, this year... yes, but I am going to choose to look to the joy that comes after the trials and the waiting and waiting AND waiting.  For now I will take up my cross daily knowing that joy comes in the morning!  

What a ride

So it's that time again, time for me to come up with something provocative to say, something full of meaning and significance, a profound announcement, but alas that is not the case. The most recent news was from the Committee of Child Rights Protection stating that dossiers that specified a gender would be returned.  I felt sick for all the families that have come so far in the process only to have to start the wait over again if they chose to continue in their decision to adopt from Kaz.  Not to say that a childisn't worth the wait, because he or she is, but the wait is the hardest part...Well, needless to say Jeff and I are not among these PAPs and do not have to make the difficult decisions they are.  We determined early on that we didn't care if we were gifted with a boy our girl, we just wanted a child to share our home, hearts and lives with.  So where does that put us, the same place we have been for the last four months, the MFA.  Yep we haven't moved.  We are gearing up for the fall and as we do we find ourselves thinking, "Last year we thought we would have our baby here to share this with."  I love Halloween, it rates just above Christmas as far as I am concerned and last year aswe searched and found a local pumpkin patch we became excited about the prospect of sharing the experience with our child this year, not to be.  Well the point of this entry wasn't to be sad.  On a happier note, we have added a new furry family member.  His name is Mooshoo and as soon as I get a pick I will add it to the blog.  This was an unplanned adoption, someone dumped him by our house and he found his way into our yard.  He is a little yellow tabby, though when he arrived he was a little worse for the wear.  He had a ouchie on his nose (usually caused when they throw them from the vehicle in a hurry) and his front canine is missing (I don't know if it will come back or not)  He has adjusted quite well with the rest of our motley crew and even our older cat, Chopstix, plays with him and doesn't his at him anymore.  If this adoption doesn't go through soon we may have to open a zoo at this rate!  Actually, no more pets we are at maximum capacity.

The other exciting thing is our chili cook-off.  We have in in October of every year, actually this is just the third year for the cook-off, but for two

years prior we had a halloween party. Anyway, I have been working on a theme and decorating ideas for the house and of course what I will wear for a costume.  It is always great fun and good food!  This year I am going with a mad scientist lad and running the invitations like a want ad and old newspaper clippings, but the best part of all is the picture I photoshopped of Jeff...

Yes, I set his eyebrows on fire, no it is not supposed to look totally real, think more tabloid sensationalism!  I laughed the whole time I did it.  At any rate it will be fun.  

With all the uncertainty in the IA world especially as we are experiencing it, I have had a lot of encouragement from some unlooked for sources, but I will just end with we started this race and we intend of finishing strong 

Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry we do not lose heart...We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  II Corinthians 4:1, 8-9 

What a FUN Video!!

Anyway, My brother sent me this video and I thought it was great and well, doesn't really have anything to do with adoption , but it does show that no matter where you go in the world people are people and we aren't really all that different!!  Enjoy!  Do you think they would dance with me in Kazakhstan? LOL!  It on the left side of the page!

Ramblings of a mad woman and other such nonesense

So, I have just been wanting to post on our blog, but with no new news to share and nothing exciting happening I have been at odds with myself trying to think of what to write about.  I have finally given into my urge to write and am dedicating this entry to my mad ramblings.  

I have recently watched the movie "Nomad: the warrior".  I won't say that it was my all time favorite film and that it is a must see for everyone, but for me it was poignant and enlightening.  It enabled me to catch a glimpse at the beautiful country that our child is from and that glimpse only makes one that much more eager to immerse yourself into their culture and heritage.  The movie really excelled in getting across how much pride the people have in their heritage and traditions.  Their history is deep and is woven into the steppes that they call home.

On another note, my agency sent us a weekly update and with it was a link to a utube video of the Kazakhstan national anthem.  It was beautiful and like the movie reverberated the pride of the people, their unceasing and unwavering commitment to the country and the land they call home as well as their way of life.  Along with the link our agency also sent the english translation, but it didn't really do the anthem justice.  It is so much stronger and proud and hauntingly beautiful in the language it is sung in.  Unfortunately, I am not familiar enough with either the Kazakh language or the Russian language to differentiate between the two.  

So now I come to the part of my entry that really starts to ramble...the adoption, our wait, and my ever increasing eagerness to take one more, even small, step forward.  Everyday we wait for word that our paperwork has moved, wishing that it would and thinking of all the families before us that have been waiting that much longer.  One day we will be one of those families.  I also think about those families that are just a step or two behind us and wonder how they will weather this waiting game and what they will be thinking when they reach the stage that we are at.  I know that everyday that passes is one less day that we have to wait and one day closer to Baby G.  We still haven't made a decision whether we will both make two trips or if I will stay for the duration and only Jeff will make two trips.  I so want to make just one trip, to have the time not only to spend with our little one, but also to immerse myself into the culture and the people.  I love to experience the different cultures on a personal level rather than a tourist level.  Here I go rambling on about traveling and as far as we know we haven't even made it to the MOE, much less gotten a region assignment or LOI.  I am out of words or at least words that when put together create a coherent thought so I will sign off for now and continue waiting, knowing that everything has a season and will happen in God's perfect timing even the creation of our little family. 

Make-overs and the Fourth of July

Well, it has been another month since my last post and while adoption news has been slow with no new updates our lives have been pretty busy.  We have spent the last several weeks now doing little upgrades in our home, like replacing light fixtures and landscaping the front yard.  We have more to do and today begins our attempt to ceramic tile one of our bathroom floors.  These things have all needed doing since we moved in, we have just kept coming up with excuses why we couldn't...Well, here goes nothing!  On the fun side we celebrated Fourth of July with my parents.  It has always been a big holiday in my family, one because any excuse to BBQ and make homemade ice cream and light explosives all in the same day is a good cause for celebration, but it is also my sister's birthday.  For year's she thought that all the fireworks were for her.  I have met other people with 4th birthday's and they thought the same thing.  What a bunch of egotists!! LOL!  We had a wonderful time.  Saturday we tried to go out on my parents boat, but after much time spent working on it, we put it in the water and it would only go backwards!  I suggested just motoring around the lake backwards, but nobody was too keen on that idea!  My poor dad though he just works and works to keep the old boat going, but it is a 1977 Formula, that's as old as me and while I don't consider myself that old, that is REALLY old for a boat!  We then spent Sunday by the pool and visiting.  It was nice and peaceful.  Hope to have some adoption news soon!

Paka!

And the Wait Goes On

So anyone in the adoption world understands what it is like to wait.  So here we are waiting. Our dossier has been at the MFA since the end of April and we think YEA! We are finally getting somewhere...and then we wait.  We knew this going in and so with steely resolve we keep looking forward and counting each day that passes as being one less day we have to wait, but all the brave talk and resolve doesn't make this inevitable part of the process easier.  Friends that were pregnant when we started the process are now sporting the seasons latest in accessories, one year olds or very near, even those that got pregnant after the we started the process are nearing their delivery dates.  A friend of mine recently joked with us that they would feel really bad if they had their second one before we even got our first one!  It was not insensitive of her, she helps keep things light and is very supportive.  In fact, this week as I have read blogs about more delays here, longer waits there, I was really feeling down.  My friend didn't know this, but when we went to their house the other evening she says, "I got you something" and pulls out this book, "A Treasury of Adoption Miracles".  It touched me that she had picked it up for us, but what was even greater about it was how timely it was, just when I needed something to pick me up, to reassure me in our direction, her she hands me a book.  On the back cover it says, "No matter what struggles you're going through, no matter how many highs and lows, the truth is, adoption is God's handiwork.  It is a blessing, a calling, an absolute divine doing...Let God show you again the miracle of a child and the special miracle of adoption."  This is a high calling and worthy of all the effort. As the old saying goes, nothing worth doing is ever easy.  So here we are, waiting, wondering, hoping and always praying.  

As we near the end of the month of June Jeff and I will celebrate 5 years of marriage together.  It has been an adventure and yet doesn't seem like we have been married for that long (I know 5 years is a drop in the bucket for some!!  One day it will be for us!).  I can't think of a better anniversary gift than to hear that our paperwork has moved on to the next step, but I won't count on that just like I won't count on getting flowers from Jeff and if it happens it will be a very pleasant surprise!  Until next time!  Paka!

Kazakhstan our dossier has arrived!

Well, we got some exciting news today, our dossier was registered at the MFA as of Monday, April 28th!!  We still have some time left to go, but it sure is nice to know that our paperwork is in country!  Just a few more steps to Baby G!

Not much else to report.  They predicted a freeze for our area so I ran out and covered all of our plants and then we didn't even get frost, so my garden is safe for a few more days until ole mother nature decides to turn on us again!!  Let's hope not!  I spent the weekend with my family while they visited in Branson.  We spent a lot of time down at the newly developed landing and then went over to get a look at Table Rock Dam and THIS time all ten flood gates were open!  The lake level was REALLY high, but you could see that it had been higher!  Well, enough ramblings, I really just wanted to share our exciting news!

Paka

Finally a little freetime!

So this is a picture of Table Rock Lake Dam in Branson, Missouri about three weeks ago.  At that time they had only five of the ten flood gates open, about a week later they had to open the remaining 5 flood gates.  It was very impressive looking.  We got some more rain this week and the Corp of Engineers was forced to open all ten flood gates once again and more rain is in the forecast.  In the above picture I think they said that 19,000 cu.ft. of water per second was being released.  When all ten were open they were releasing about 45,000 cu. ft./second.  That is a lot of water!!  That is my useless fact for the day.  Nothing new on the adoption front to report.  Things for us have been pretty busy, Jeff's dad was put in the hospital about two weeks ago with Leukemia.  The prognosis seems optimistic with a good chance that he will go into remission, but we have spent a lot of time going back and forth to the hospital to help out his mom.  In between all of the rain and our comings and goings we have managed to get our garden planted so the rain for us has been a good thing.  Not much else to talk about right now! Paka!

Where is the SUNSHINE!!

So the weather here has been less than acceptable.  WE get teaser days that are nice and in the 70's and then we get rain for a week and it gets cold and dreary.  A lot of places around us have flooded, but we haven't floated away and shouldn't anytime soon; although, I feel as though we should be building an ark!  This weekend we are even supposed to get snow flurries!!!  YUCK!

There isn't a whole lot going on any front.  A week, to the day, the adoption suspension for Kazakhstan was lifted and things are supposed to be moving, but probably a little slower than before.  We just continue on with preparations and life.  I contacted our agency to see if our dossier had moved, but they had received no information that it had reached the MFA, which is the first place it has to go when it reaches Kazakhstan.  With nothing more to say...Paka!

Spring has Sprung

Well, It is officially spring!! I won't say that it is my favorite season, summer gets to claim that right, but longer, warmer days are definitely an improvement in my book. This past weekend was the Nauryz holiday in Kazakhstan. I love learning about the traditions of Kazakhstan and I store away each little piece of info that I collect so that in the years to come we can pass these traditions onto Baby G! Our way of welcoming in spring is a camping trip. We went a little earlier than the first day of spring, but we had a fantastic fews days. Our spring trips are always some of our favorites because the state parks (that is where we usually go) are pretty empty, there are really no bugs to speak of and you can REALLY enjoy the fire in the evening.This is me, Jeff and Inga, and my brother on a clifftop over looking the stream that runs out of Bennett Springs.

This is the four of us at our campsite. My brother is doing his best impression of the squirrel that ate our chocolate chip cookies! It was an evil squirrel!

We spent the last night listening to my brother play song requests as best he could on his harmonica. It felt like we should have been laying our heads down on saddles and listening to the wolves howl in the distance. It was very soothing and relaxing.

On the adoption front, Kazakhstan officials have temporarily suspended processing of adoptions that are at the consulate. Upon first hearing this I felt like I should be upset, but I really feel quite calm about it and figure it will happen when it is meant to happen and me getting anxious about it isn't going to help matters. Besides, I applaud the Kazakhstan government for wanting to review the inter-country adoption process. It highlights their care and concern for the children, which is what is most important. Last we knew our paperwork was still at the Consulate and that is a-okay we are here for the duration so we might as will enjoy the trip!

A Weekend of Productivity

Well, I have had a very productive few days. This past weekend I went home to attend a JDRF family retreat diabetes conference in St. Louis. I have never been to New York, though I would like to, I have never been to LA or San Fran or even Chicago, unless you count flying in and then flying out on a connecting flight, but I have been to London and Edinburgh, Orlando, KC, and various other smaller cities and none of them get to me the way that St. Louis does! I love the arch, the zoo, the parks, the skyline, the old muddy Mississippi river, The Blues, Rams (minus Mike Martz!), and CARDINALS!! It just feels like home to me more than any other city I have been to. So I went to the JDRF conference with my sister and my niece, Tori. Tori was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when she was 4 and as with many diseases, it is always a learning, growing educating experience. We had a great time, while my sister and I learned how to manage her diabetes better when she is sick, Tori got to act like a carefree child, something that isn't always possible since everything in life isn't sugar free/carb free and every body isn't running around armed with the knowledge necessary to recognize high and low blood sugars! We had good food and being there made me realize how much more of an active role I should take in helping support JDRF and their efforts.
Another accomplishment that happened is that Jeff and I finally bought a different car. We have been hemming and Hawing for over a year about what car to buy, what is more economical yet still environmentally responsible and more fuel efficient. Well, after much debate we finally took the plunge and bought a Toyota Matrix, not as fuel efficient as a Prius or other hybrid, but more in our price range, not as big as a Rav 4 or CR-V, but more fuel efficient and more in our price range. It will fit the dog, baby G and hopefully our camping gear (which we will find out about soon enough as we gear up for our first camping expedition this March). It is white with a sunroof, YAY! and a 6-disc CD changer, never had one before, but it's nice to have options!
The most important news I saved for last. We got all of our paperwork that we received in our travel packet done and our visa pictures and all that stuff is ready to go in the mail tomorrow! Yay! We also received our email notification that our paperwork is officially at the Consulate, so that is good, at least it is somewhere and not just floating around in space! LOL! The biggest problem we have is telling people where our paperwork is now and what that means and how long. They start to get that glassey eyed stare when you start saying things like "then it goes to the MOE" or "then the MFA matches your to a child" and when you say that it could take as long as 12 months I really do think I know what it feels like to be a pregnant elephant! So yep we are still waiting and still have some waiting left to do, which I am grateful of as it gives us a chance to do the mountain of things we need to do BEFORE we travel, not limited to getting the money together for the adoption and learning some Russian!!!! AHHHHHHH! Well, that is what time is for and with that in mind maybe I should go practice my Russian! Paka!

Moving Forward

I thought that I would start my entry off with a picture and a story about my neice, Tori. (She's the one in the pink hat, not the fuzzy one with the big ears!) Tori is 8 yrs old and the only grandchild on my side of the family. She has been immensely excited about getting a new cousin and has been enthusiastically helping Uncle Jeff collect cans to recycle to help with some of the costs. My mom, or grandma, jokingly complains all the time about how the back seat of her car is always full of cans and having to wait for Tori while she runs to pick up a can she has spotted. That being said, before Christmas for an assignment her teacher had everyone write a letter to Santa Claus to be published in the local paper. Tori's letter was as follows:
Dear Santa,
I hope you have a good Christmas. I wanted to ask you something. Can I have a panda bear that comes with a little one and a wreath and two boxes of cans so my Aunt Michelle and Uncle Jeff can adopt a baby that's all.
From,
Tori
We just thought that was the sweetest letter. We had my mom save the newspaper clipping with her letter so we can put it in Baby G's baby book so we can show him/her how much he/she was wanted!
On another note, we received our travel packet yesterday and I was SOOOOOO excited, until I started to read/ scan through it! All the information!!! It makes income tax forms look like a childrens book! So, I am going to attempt to break it down a little bit at a time and time is something I have! What we have read has made us start to rethink our original plans. We had originally thought that we would just do it all in one trip with Jeff leaving for the US after court and my mom coming over to help me with Baby G until we returned home, but they make it sound like it might be more complicated that way than just making the two trips. I had just figured I had the time that I could stay in country and 1.) It would give me some extra time to really get a feel for the Kazakh culture and 2.) I didn't want to have to leave our baby for a month because I didn't want to leave Baby G and two I thought it might make the transition process a little easier. I guess that is something that we will have to really think on even more now! Otherwise, we now have a more official list of what to bring, along with a list of suggested items from my yahoo group, and can REALLY start collecting things to bring with us on our trip(s). Time to get busy!